Skip to main content

To All The Women I Know on Mother's Day

I decided to go for a hike today. I needed some time alone to reflect....and to cry. I wanted to get it out and do what has been difficult do in the last few months (re my entire life) - to dig into the pain and FEEL. What ended up happening surprised me. 

There's something about Colorado for me that feels more like home than any other place. I think it's because I feel grounded and in a place where I can find my peace. So I found myself hiking in this gorgeous weather with this incredible panoramic view and I couldn't be sad. I was in awe and I was thankful. And while I thought of my broken relationship with my mother, I thought more of the incredible women in my life who inspire me daily.
My life has been filled with them. They are my nanna and my aunts....my cousins who became beautiful mamas. They are the women who stepped in when my mom couldn't "handle" me as a kid. They are the friends I've met as an adult who had littles that I've had the pleasure to get to know. They are the mothers who I've met through the Kyle Pease Foundation and they, well they are super heroes in my book.

I thought of my friends who want to be mamas and can't. I thought of women like me who are in this weird middle space and have no idea if it will ever be an option. I thought of the fur baby mamas (Brucey didn't get me shit today!)....So many women crossed my mind today.

I thought today's hike was going to be full of sadness and tears and instead it was full of gratitude for this gorgeous state and all of the women I'm so blessed to know.

Here's to you, mamas. Happy Mother's Day.


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Goodbye.

 “I don’t know if I should congratulate you or console you.” - Craig “How about both?” - Me This was a conversation in our kitchen earlier this week. After a year and a half of weekly therapy, I had my last session with my therapist Tuesday. Not because I was over it or because it wasn’t working or because he retired. Nope. Because we got to a place where we could both say I’ve got the tools I need to move on. I have to say that there is no timeline for therapy and every situation is unique. I moved on from intensive therapy with my therapist because that it was worked for ME. I am certainly no expert and I have a feeling this isn’t the end of my therapy forever, but I do know that my experience with the right person allowed me to heal in ways I literally never thought possible. And it gave me the experience of a healthy “goodbye”. I was never prepared for that, so when we set an end date (not-so-coincidentally my Nanna’s birthday), it was hard to process. No one talks about

November 19th

There's apparently something about November 19th and changes in my life... 2 years ago: moving out of the ex's house 1 year ago: announcing that I was making the big move to beautiful Colorado Today: planning my next big adventure! After 2 years of major life changes and constant adjustment, I'm finally feeling like a settled human being. So, I've decided that 2018 is going to be the year I push myself physically and mentally. 2 half marathons are on the schedule along with the most exciting part: a multi day bike adventure with an assisted athlete here in Colorado in support of The Kyle Pease Foundation !!  I've learned enough about myself that I will not agree to push myself hard physically for any length of time unless there is another person who is behind the WHY. Doing this in partnership with another athlete who necessarily wouldn't be able to otherwise, is enough to get my ass off my couch and get it done! Details are still being worke

It's a Funny Feeling

Let's be honest, I've been riding my bike more this year than the last 3 years COMBINED. While that's sad for the last couple of summers, it's great for this one. And this girl.  Thanks to some riding buddies who are calm and patient, I've been able to get out and ride more in the city whereas before even the thought of riding in Buckhead scared the living daylights out of me. I've encouraged myself when I really, REALLY don't want to ride and would prefer to go home after a long day and drink a glass of wine. I've pushed myself to go a little further than I felt I could. I faced some fears. Riding over I-285 during rush hour traffic giggling because I was having a way better time than those commuters! I was out this evening by myself on a local rail-to-trail and it was glorious. The trail was quiet with very few people on it, the weather was great and I just felt good! I trucked along at my best pace yet and kept thinking to myself how