Skip to main content

Home.

A year ago today, I arrived in a snow storm at 9,000 feet after dark to my temporary living space in on Shadow Mountain in Colorado. I was tired and sick and hangry and incredibly emotional. We made it.

Now what?

This past year has gone by like a blur, but there are so many incredible moments that I was able to truly savor that it also feels like this place has always been my home.

Home.

Everything that I expected to experience I did:
Loneliness - 9,000 feet up a mountain with just a dog is LONELY
Sadness - missing my network of people, my go to's
Excitement - new places to see and experience
Fear - stepping outside of my comfort zone daily to get used to this new life
Awe - this place, well, it's stunning
Confidence - finding my place here and doing it solo has been everything I needed

I am thankful for every tear and every smile and every "AH HA!" moment. For the times I sat on my floor with my arms around Brucey's neck in tears. For every time I sat stunned by this big, beautiful place which constantly reminds me that we really are but a moment. I am thankful for my network of friends that have lifted me up, come to visit and been my cheerleaders when I needed it most.

I took a massive leap of faith to come out here, but believed in my heart that it would be worth it and oh, has it been! More than I could have imagined. I've been able to spend this last often VERY uncomfortable year steadying myself. Most importantly, though, I've been truly finding myself for the first time - falling in love not just with Colorado, but Helen. 

I'm steady...now it's time to GROW. Here's to another year of ups and downs and adventures!







Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Patsy.

A friend sent this video to me and when I watched it, I was struck more by the feelings it brought up around the content than the story itself.  Christen Reighter's story is an interesting and frustrating insight into what it means to NOT want a child. I invite you to watch this. Her experience is not unique and needs to be talked about. Even if you have kids. Or want them. What struck me most was what she says during her TedTalk: "I have believed having children was an extension of womanhood, not the definition." Truth is, I've been struggling with this lately. Not the fact that I'm longing for children. I'd be fibbing if I said there is a very tiny part of me that wonders what this will feel like when I get to the end of life. HOWEVER. That feeling isn't strong enough for me to want to find out. I don't feel like having children should be thought of as a "keeping the fingers crossed" kind of situation. If you aren't sure you'l

Experimental.

I have a little secret. Today marks 30 days since my last drink**. I had attempted a 30-day alcohol-free period in January of 2018 which ended up being, arguably, one of the most challenging years of my life. I made it 26 days miserable days and it all ended because Brucey , my beloved rescue dog, died while I was traveling to Miami for an event. This is when I discovered that Walgreen's sells wine (what?!).  I look back at my first alcohol-free attempt and I realize that I wasn't really set up for success. Hindsight and all that... Not only did I try to detox on January 1st, but I was also newly ramping up training for my big bike adventures AND I decided to try my hand at 30-days of Yoga with Adriene . All of these things independently are (and were) really good things. Healthy. Mindful. Etc. Etc. However, I went into that period of time looking at not drinking as punishment. This dry spell was needed more than ever. With COVID hitting a year ago (that's another post in i

Goodbye.

 “I don’t know if I should congratulate you or console you.” - Craig “How about both?” - Me This was a conversation in our kitchen earlier this week. After a year and a half of weekly therapy, I had my last session with my therapist Tuesday. Not because I was over it or because it wasn’t working or because he retired. Nope. Because we got to a place where we could both say I’ve got the tools I need to move on. I have to say that there is no timeline for therapy and every situation is unique. I moved on from intensive therapy with my therapist because that it was worked for ME. I am certainly no expert and I have a feeling this isn’t the end of my therapy forever, but I do know that my experience with the right person allowed me to heal in ways I literally never thought possible. And it gave me the experience of a healthy “goodbye”. I was never prepared for that, so when we set an end date (not-so-coincidentally my Nanna’s birthday), it was hard to process. No one talks about