I'm gonna be honest with you. This week I've come close to quitting.
To giving up on this entire adventure.
To saying, "Thanks for all the support, y'all, but this isn't happening.".
To succumbing to all of those negative thoughts and fears and massive anxiety that I'm facing.
My body and my mind are tired. I'm not even halfway to my financial goal. I've got a million things yet to figure out. And...I'm scared shitless that I will fail Noah and Naomi and every single person who has supported us thus far.
This is part of the journey, I'm told. Facing the days when I question my sanity, my physical ability and whether or not I can scrounge up the financial support I've promised the Kyle Pease Foundation. My buddy tells me to enjoy the days I want to quit. That they end up being the best days because once I get through them, I'll be better for it. He would know. He does some pretty big stuff...
So, I didn't quit. And I won't. And I'm hoping that at the end of this, I will do that thing where I look back and roll my eyes at myself and my self doubt. Until then, I will keep Noah's smile on the forefront of my mind and push forward.
Fittingly, someone posted this yesterday and while it's geared to triathletes, it still resonated...
“In the heat of competition it's easy to get stuck on what is not going well, which causes you to lose sight of how lucky you are to be able to race. In the big picture of life, your finish time or place will have little bearing on the sun rising or seasons changing. Find that place within yourself that is grateful to be alive and fit enough to even consider undertaking a triathlon. For every one of you, there are millions who dare not dream such a grand adventure for their lives." ~ Mark Allen