Skip to main content

Event Recap: A Novel

This will be a long one. 

Mostly, for me. I want to savor every moment of what was the biggest physical (and emotional) challenge I've taken on. I want to relish this great accomplishment. If you're into small novels, sit back, grab a cup of coffee (or wine depending on the time of day) and come with me back through Helen & Noah's BIG Adventure.

First, I have to say that our team of people was INCREDIBLE. I couldn't have asked for a better, more perfect group of humans. They played every "role" perfectly. I'll name them and give a general description of what they were around to do. However, I cannot possibly describe them or what they gave me any further. Simply put: I wouldn't have gotten through this without each of them.

Naomi - Noah's Mom
Stacy - my coach
Peter - mechanic/sherpa/human compass
Josh & Nic - our film crew

Day 1: The Intro
We got Noah into the trailer and learned quickly that zip ties would be our friends during this process. We adapted the trailer by adding the harness from his every day chair to keep him comfortable. Yup, that means we had to zip tie a 9-year-old into the trailer. Winning on day 1!

We began our ride unassumingly: in a parking lot of the Holiday Inn Express in Gunnison. It was quiet and perfect. The plan had been for the crew to drive up ahead every 5 miles or so. I'd either pass and wave or stop as needed. We also planned a stop at the 2-ish hour mark to change and feed Noah. The first 25 miles were AWESOME. The views were almost instantly gorgeous. And there was a tailwind that I didn't notice or appreciate. I remember thinking "I can push past our planned 47! I'm gonna kick ass, post on social media that I did MORE than I was supposed and soak in the glory."

LOL.

Our big stop was by Blue Mesa Reservoir. It was our first "take Noah out of the trailer" stop and we took a little longer than we should have (remember: zip ties). We got much better at this as the days went on, as we knew we would. After peeing between car doors onto concrete (no trees were in sight) and feeding and hydrating both Noah and I, we took off again. 27 more miles to go! We're gonna crush it!


A split second before the headwind hit.


One pedal stroke into the headwind that faced me and I was like, "Ohhhh, shit.".  We then turned toward Black Canyon where the climbing started. I was OK for the most part. At some point I asked Peter to ride with me since he was my climbing buddy and I could feel the fatigue setting in. We just kept climbing and our "see ya every few miles" plan was not working for my psyche. When I climb with 100+ pounds attached I'm S-L-O-W. A few miles feels like eternity on a day like that.

Then, I hit a wall. A BIG ONE. The tears started to come and as every switchback passed and I didn't see our support vehicles, they flowed even more. I was getting hot. I was incredibly concerned for Noah because if I was hot, I'm sure he was, too. We were going 3MPH... And then the sobbing started. I tried to lock it up and did a couple of times, but was beyond over it. I finally told Peter to ride up ahead and "FUCKING FIND THEM!" and instructed that if they were more than 1/4 mile away they needed to come get me. He took off, I  started to cry again and then I heard the most pitiful noise from Noah and totally lost it. Luckily, they were actually just a 1/4 mile away. I pulled off the side of the road, handed off my bike, told Naomi I had surely killed her child and walked off while everyone let me be and took care of Noah.

Naomi pulled her not-dead-son out of the trailer and I asked, frustrated, if he was OK. And then I looked at his face. She was holding him with his head on her shoulder and there was that smile. His cry was because he had wiggled himself into an uncomfortable position. He was fine. I relaxed a bit, ate a sandwich and felt defeated in knowing that we had to cut our ride short...

In hindsight, day #1 was the intro day to day #3 which is now considered the most difficult day I've ever had on a bike. EVER.

Day 2: Redemption Day
I was determined that we would start EXACTLY where we stopped on day #1. I wasn't going to loose miles. It was about an hour drive from our hotel to our start, where we were greeted by Nic and Josh, our film crew, who would follow us the remainder of the trip. They were not only talented and laid back and incredibly cool, but became friends through this process. I remember saying, "These dudes better not suck." They didn't.

I was nervous to take off. So nervous, in fact, that I asked Stacy to ride with me. Her presence helped keep my head straight. Day #2 had the biggest change in climate. We started up in the mountains next to water in a deep, beautiful canyon where the leaves were just beginning to change and ended up in arid, rolling hills through farm country. To say it was breath-taking would be a massive understatement.

There are 2 favorite parts of that day:

The first was riding with Stacy. She's coached me to become this incredible athlete (the one I NEVER thought I'd ever become), but because she lives in Georgia, we've never ridden together. Not a bad place for 2 gals to ride together for the first time. We chatted. We took in the views. We had our time on the bike.

The second was as we were descending Black Canyon and hit 41MPH (sorry, Naomi!). I looked back into the trailer to check on Noah and when I did, saw  that toothy grin from ear-to-ear. It was in that moment where everything: every tear, every stresser, every fear, every doubt, became not just worth it, but appreciated. He was there. He was with me. And we had this moment together.


Look closely. SMILES FOR DAYS.

We made up the 10 miles we lost on day #1 and rolled into our motel in Paonia. I ended the day feeling accomplished. Redeemed. Thankful.

Day 3: Conquering Kebbler
Look, I KNEW Kebbler was going to be tough. Day #3 had a climb and gravel. That I knew. What I didn't know was that day #3 would see 4,700 feet of elevation gain over 40 miles with an AVERAGE speed of 7MPH. SEVEN. Seven is also the number of hours we were on the bike. This is where I must admit to you that I purposefully did NOT preview my route. I only knew mileage and very basic details....I'm still leaning towards the thought that it was a good idea in the end as I'm not great when I have an expectation of what's to come. Hence, kinda winging it. Probably shoulda looked at day #3, though.

Kebbler almost broke me. I hit my darkest moments more than once.

I woke up on Day #3 sore and nervous and not feeling good about what was to come. We started from our motel in Paonia and had an INSTANT headwind. Wanna know what happens to a 6'1" girl on a 61cm bike with a 100+ pounds behind her in a not-so-tiny trailer? Well, she turns into a parachuter. And that shit isn't fun. The first 16 miles suuuuuucked. I was pedaling through molasses and tears came at mile 5. (that should have been an indicator of things to come). It was slow and miserable, but I was staying positive knowing that the worst was yet to come and that THIS is what I'd be training for.

Then the turn to Kebbler came and I felt mentally prepared. There were a couple miles of rollers with gravel that we did fine on. They were actively grading it, so the wet dirt was like riding in sand and a bit frustrating, but we got it done. We got to a section of concrete that would inevitably be our last big break. Noah was fed and hydrated, I had Stacy massage my sore ass (she's a massage therapist by trade which came in handy when my body HATED me). I ate some chips and we took off. At this point, I was thinking "this isn't so bad" assuming the next few miles would be like the last.

LOL. AGAIN.

It wasn't. The first section of Kebbler is steep and the gravel, in sections, is loose. The first couple of steep miles I did well. It hurt, but I did it. THIS was Kebbler, after all. It helped to have my support vehicles tailing me and literally screaming from the windows. I was doing it! The worst of the climbs finished and I was ready for some downhill. Downhill that didn't come. While the worst, steep stuff was done, the climbing wasn't. Kebbler became rollers with little reprieve and that's when the wheels began to fall off the bus.

We got to a section of loose gravel with a climb and I was going so damn slow that I fell. While Naomi, Peter and Stacy watched up ahead. I fell. Landed on my side, turned on my ass because I realized the bike and Noah were rolling backwards downhill, grabbed the bike, sat and cried until everyone came to get us. I got up and, in a fury, spiked my sunglasses on the ground. BYEEEE Tifosis! We walked up the hill to a flat part and I don't remember much other than a couple sips of cold beer thanks to Stacy who saw I needed it....and I got back on my damn bike.


Let's play a game: am I crying? (probably)


Noah was un-phased by all of this. I caught a couple of smiles as we climbed, even!

The rollers continued. No real downhill. And with every pedal stroke I was getting more and more upset. Stacy made the decision to jump on her bike and ride with. A triathlete on a road bike on gravel....she's a trooper. And a life saver.

We got to another section that was slightly steep with that loose gravel and before falling, I unclipped. Got off my bike and started walking. PIIIISSSSSEEEEEDD. It is one of the most memorable moments of our ride. Everyone was there, including our film crew. I got off, started pushing and yelling. Naomi and Stacy came to help push the trailer with sweet words of encouragement and I remember looking at them and saying, "STOP. I need TWO MINUTES." They let go and I pushed my bike, on that gravel, with Noah attached. I remember thinking, FEELING the words that came out of my mouth to Stacy, "THIS IS NOT HOW THIS DAY WILL END." I pushed us to a flat spot and we got back on that bike.

As we hit the last section of climbs that (thankfully) became pavement, I broke again. Sitting on gravel, feeling like I didn't have anything left in the tank, but refusing to quit, but still not really knowing (or wanting to) how much longer we had. I remember getting off the bike and sitting on the gravel. Noah was still doing great which helped keep me focused. By this point, Naomi had mastered hydrating Noah who is tube fed while he was IN the trailer. Rockstars. Both of them.

Meanwhile, I'm sitting on the ground and Stacy opens up a can of Pringles and accidentally drops them on the ground in front of me. Before she could do anything, I pitifully just grabbed them off the side of the road and shoved them in my mouth. It was tragic and hilarious and those salt and vinegar Pringles gave me just enough life to finish our climbs. I didn't think I could love salt & vinegar chips more than I already did....

I'd like to say the next mile was pleasant and I had renewed energy. It wasn't and I didn't and I cried and whined and all I can hear are Stacy's words, "Yes you can. Yes you can. You can do this." It was miserable. I hated life. She rode up ahead of me at which point I wanted to die. And the next thing I know I heard yelling, cheering. I made it to the top where I saw Stacy and Naomi cheering. There were Nic and Josh with their cameras and then I saw it: MY DOWNHILL INTO CRESTED BUTTE!

I took off. We cranked. It was only a couple of miles but it was glorious. I've never been happier to see the name of a town on a sign in my life. A couple more blocks and we were at our Inn for the evening.

48 miles. 4,700 feet of climbing. 7 hours. We got Noah out of the trailer and I just held him. I thanked him. I loved him more in that moment than ever. We had just put our bodies through Hell. Together. We had made it.


I don't even remember taking this.


Day 4: Victory Lap
We took our time getting ready in the morning before taking off from our Inn in Crested Butte. There were some clouds and it was a bit chilly, but the rain never came and my arm warmers were off within a quarter mile. I don't know if it was the knowledge that we were about to be done or the thankfulness for a new day, but I felt really damn good. We had a wonderfully wide shoulder the majority of our ride, so the first few miles were spent with Josh hanging out the back of Peter's hatchback car shooting video. It will, most likely be, the only time in my life that I genuinely got to draft off of something else. Tall Girls don't get that luxury much.

Our crew had been in sight every 5 miles or less every day that week. On the last day, my legs felt good and we were booking it at a 17MPH average which, after Kebbler the day before, was more than welcomed. The crew made the decision to drive up ahead to our finish, leaving us be. I'm glad they did. I had about 10 glorious miles with Noah. Soaking in the views, savoring our last miles together on this incredible journey. I kept talking to him, reminding him that this was for us. That every pedal stroke the last 4 days was for HIM. That we had made it.

This was our victory lap.

One of my favorite things with Noah post-race is to take his finisher's medal and put it around his neck. It's our little moment, where I can give his sweet cheeks a kiss and a thank him. I was a little sad we wouldn't get that moment as this was OUR event, but was content knowing that, well, it was OURS.

As we pulled into the same little parking lot we had started in 4 days prior in Gunnison, there was our crew (including 2 strangers). Yelling. With big signs. And silly string. And a crepe paper finish lie that we broke. And the best part? The home made, Kpeasey BLUE glitter finisher's medals. We got our finish line.


Pure. JOY.


It ended at is began. With our crew. In the most perfect of ways: small, sweet, precious....just the key players in this incredible week.


Key players.



He looks pissed but LOVES me. I SWEAR.

Noah and I became endurance athletes in every sense of the word the week of August 28th. We accomplished what so many have doubted for the last 9 years of Noah's life. Hell, we accomplished something that some couldn't even DREAM of for a kid like Noah. We took on this adventure, guns a blazin' and kicked it's ass. 


Life is nothing if we aren't trying to BE better and DO better in this world.

Thankful. PROUD. Forever changed.

I'd like to say this is my last post about this, but I have some thank yous to write. For now, CHEERS TO YOU for making it through this!

Comments

  1. LOVE.EVERY. BIT of this. I was there and missed pieces of y'alls journey. Thank you for doing life with us!!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Questions? Comments? Share away!

Buzz kill? Keep on moving!

Popular posts from this blog

Goodbye.

 “I don’t know if I should congratulate you or console you.” - Craig “How about both?” - Me This was a conversation in our kitchen earlier this week. After a year and a half of weekly therapy, I had my last session with my therapist Tuesday. Not because I was over it or because it wasn’t working or because he retired. Nope. Because we got to a place where we could both say I’ve got the tools I need to move on. I have to say that there is no timeline for therapy and every situation is unique. I moved on from intensive therapy with my therapist because that it was worked for ME. I am certainly no expert and I have a feeling this isn’t the end of my therapy forever, but I do know that my experience with the right person allowed me to heal in ways I literally never thought possible. And it gave me the experience of a healthy “goodbye”. I was never prepared for that, so when we set an end date (not-so-coincidentally my Nanna’s birthday), it was hard to process. No one talks about

November 19th

There's apparently something about November 19th and changes in my life... 2 years ago: moving out of the ex's house 1 year ago: announcing that I was making the big move to beautiful Colorado Today: planning my next big adventure! After 2 years of major life changes and constant adjustment, I'm finally feeling like a settled human being. So, I've decided that 2018 is going to be the year I push myself physically and mentally. 2 half marathons are on the schedule along with the most exciting part: a multi day bike adventure with an assisted athlete here in Colorado in support of The Kyle Pease Foundation !!  I've learned enough about myself that I will not agree to push myself hard physically for any length of time unless there is another person who is behind the WHY. Doing this in partnership with another athlete who necessarily wouldn't be able to otherwise, is enough to get my ass off my couch and get it done! Details are still being worke

Daughter.

When you're estranged from not one, but basically both parents, the heaviness of that can still be palpable. Most days, most weeks, and months even, it's fine. I've learned to navigate questions like, "Where do your parents live?" or the weird feeling in my gut when someone says, "Oh, my mom sent me this from this favorite place of mine." I've learned how to adjust to Mother's and Father's Days by staying off of social media and doing something that makes me happy like getting out into nature. Some of these times are better than others. Here's the thing: whether or not the choice to go no contact with the two people who were supposed to show you all the basis of love was good or not, is incredibly difficult. Because social media is what it is, yesterday was apparently "International Daughters Day". It didn't bother me so much yesterday, but this morning wasn't off to a great start and for some reason, I felt agitated. I