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Trying to Embrace the Suck

Yesterday at the shop it seemed as though every person that walked in the door was a regular...they would come in to the store, see me, sorta smile and immediately look for a familiar face. In fact, someone begrudgingly said, "Oh. A new face." before finding one of the guys in the service area. Even though I know that this is temporary and those same people will soon know me and be MY regulars, it still sucked.
Couple that with having Sunday and Monday off and desperately trying to think of things to do besides sit here and stare at Brucey and I remembered that I'm alone out here.

Normally, after a tough day (or any day, really), I'd find someone to do dinner with. Or we'd grab drinks...or we'd make plans for me to go over later in the week to hang out with their cute kid and catch up. Last night that wasn't an option. I came home, had a glass of wine, hugged my dog's neck and cried.

I remind myself daily that I haven't been here 2 weeks and that I live in this beautiful house on this beautiful mountain with these gorgeous views. And then I get sad again because I want to share it with my people...and I haven't found my people out here yet which can be so incredibly isolating. 9,000 feet up a mountain full of switchbacks is out there, y'all.

I knew this would happen. I knew the tears would come and I know that this isn't forever. I'm going to continue reminding myself that this is normal, to embrace the suck and continue to move forward knowing that this is temporary.

This afternoon and tomorrow, I'm going out in my not Subaru to explore. Maybe I'll stop and have a craft beer somewhere since that's a big thing here. And maybe, juuuust maybe, I'll step outside of everything that I'm comfortable with and meet someone new. Either way, I'm embracing this suck while missing my people.

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