Skip to main content

3 Months a "Colorado Girl"

The first time I came to Colorado was in the Summer of 2010. I have this awesome memory of standing at the base of Maroon Bells in Aspen watching the sunset and being in awe of how stunningly, breathtakingly beautiful this place was. I was this small creature in this vast space and I was in love.

Colorado has a way of doing that...making me feel small and almost insignificant in the grand scheme of things. And that's no easy feat since I'm no tiny person!

Today marks 3 months since arriving in Colorado. 3 months since I left Georgia, my friends and everything that was comfortable for me to start another chapter in this little book of Helen. It has been exactly what I expected: amazing and scary and lonely and sad and invigorating and liberating and frustrating. 

I knew moving here would force me into being alone. At times, that loneliness is crushing. And it hits at the weirdest times. Like, driving in the car cursing the fact that they don't make "slush" tires because these expensive ass snow tires don't do slush...and then I'll have a memory of a time with one of my sweet friends and the tears will start flowing. The other night I wanted to pack my shit and come HOME. But I'm a grown up and grown ups have responsibilities. I also know that doing so wouldn't be well received by my uber supportive friends who would literally all kick my ass <--more motivating than the adult bullshit. I also had to remind myself that I AM home. Colorado is home. 

I found an apartment in Lakewood and will move in a couple of weeks, finally unpacking all the boxes that have been sitting in the garage of this fantastic house I've had the privilege of staying in. I can't wait to be settled in my first apartment with no roommates or hookups from people doing me a favor (better at 33 than never!)! I'm also scared shitless! My job has restored my love for this industry and working in small business...I am so happy to finally feel a part of something again AND to be valued for it! I have plans for day trips to hike and bike and weekend trips to places like Moab which are in driving distance! I'm slowly (v-e-r-y slowly) meeting people including a nice guy who seems to really like me! Brucey has acclimated perfectly and easily...that guy rocks!

So. Here I am. Living in Colorado with no regrets for moving. A little melancholy for all I've left behind. And excitement for all that lies before me. It still isn't easy, but it's worth it!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Goodbye.

 “I don’t know if I should congratulate you or console you.” - Craig “How about both?” - Me This was a conversation in our kitchen earlier this week. After a year and a half of weekly therapy, I had my last session with my therapist Tuesday. Not because I was over it or because it wasn’t working or because he retired. Nope. Because we got to a place where we could both say I’ve got the tools I need to move on. I have to say that there is no timeline for therapy and every situation is unique. I moved on from intensive therapy with my therapist because that it was worked for ME. I am certainly no expert and I have a feeling this isn’t the end of my therapy forever, but I do know that my experience with the right person allowed me to heal in ways I literally never thought possible. And it gave me the experience of a healthy “goodbye”. I was never prepared for that, so when we set an end date (not-so-coincidentally my Nanna’s birthday), it was hard to process. No one talks about

It's a Funny Feeling

Let's be honest, I've been riding my bike more this year than the last 3 years COMBINED. While that's sad for the last couple of summers, it's great for this one. And this girl.  Thanks to some riding buddies who are calm and patient, I've been able to get out and ride more in the city whereas before even the thought of riding in Buckhead scared the living daylights out of me. I've encouraged myself when I really, REALLY don't want to ride and would prefer to go home after a long day and drink a glass of wine. I've pushed myself to go a little further than I felt I could. I faced some fears. Riding over I-285 during rush hour traffic giggling because I was having a way better time than those commuters! I was out this evening by myself on a local rail-to-trail and it was glorious. The trail was quiet with very few people on it, the weather was great and I just felt good! I trucked along at my best pace yet and kept thinking to myself how

Patsy.

A friend sent this video to me and when I watched it, I was struck more by the feelings it brought up around the content than the story itself.  Christen Reighter's story is an interesting and frustrating insight into what it means to NOT want a child. I invite you to watch this. Her experience is not unique and needs to be talked about. Even if you have kids. Or want them. What struck me most was what she says during her TedTalk: "I have believed having children was an extension of womanhood, not the definition." Truth is, I've been struggling with this lately. Not the fact that I'm longing for children. I'd be fibbing if I said there is a very tiny part of me that wonders what this will feel like when I get to the end of life. HOWEVER. That feeling isn't strong enough for me to want to find out. I don't feel like having children should be thought of as a "keeping the fingers crossed" kind of situation. If you aren't sure you'l