A Lovely Life

I'm always incredibly reflective this time of year.  I love being able to look back on each year to enjoy the things that made them wonderful and take lessons from the things that made them difficult. This year, quite frankly, felt like it had more difficult moments than wonderful. I know. I know. What a negative way to look at a year of growth, but it's true. 2018 was HARD.  It has been a year of stark contrast. I've experienced my highest, most incredible highs... Helen & Noah's Big Bike Adventure and Helen & Hank's Marine Corps Marathon . In between those high, amazing times, though, I saw my darkest days. I lost everything that gave me purpose. To the point where this world almost lost me. I was ready to give it all up because almost everything and everyone I loved and wrapped myself in was gone. Almost everything. Funny what seeing a photo of someone you love at just the right time will do to literally save you. One day, I'll tel...

This one is tough. This blog is such a wonderful outlet for me and so I want to talk about yesterday. Yesterday, my Brucey left this world. The last few days have been really tough...he took a turn pretty quickly at the end of last week and I was told Wednesday that there wasn't much time left for him. Because nothing ever happens with ideal "timing" this weekend was also one where I had committed to help a new organization do some logistical planning for the Miami Half...I had to leave him in the care of my wonderful vets, but I had to leave him. My biggest fear was that he wouldn't make it until I got home and that he would die as he lived much of his life...alone. Luckily, people are awesome and understood that I needed to come home early to take care of my boy. I landed in Denver at 9:30am and went straight to the vet. They brought him in to me and I told him how sorry I was and how much I loved him and how good he was. He was tired and sick and it was t...

A year ago today, I arrived in a snow storm at 9,000 feet after dark to my temporary living space in on Shadow Mountain in Colorado. I was tired and sick and hangry and incredibly emotional. We made it. Now what? This past year has gone by like a blur, but there are so many incredible moments that I was able to truly savor that it also feels like this place has always been my home. Home. Everything that I expected to experience I did: Loneliness - 9,000 feet up a mountain with just a dog is LONELY Sadness - missing my network of people, my go to's Excitement - new places to see and experience Fear - stepping outside of my comfort zone daily to get used to this new life Awe - this place, well, it's stunning Confidence - finding my place here and doing it solo has been everything I needed I am thankful for every tear and every smile and every "AH HA!" moment. For the times I sat on my floor with my arms around Brucey's neck in tears. For every time I...

It's New Year's Eve. I always find myself a little emotional (shocking) and a lot reflective when it's time to say goodbye to one year and welcome in a new one. This year, like last, though, there is a profound feeling of excitement. 2017. January. Goodbye to Georgia. Hello to #coloRADo. Snow. Tears. COLD. New job. Celebrating having Brucey for 1 year. ADJUSTMENT. February. Intro to hiking. Brewery visits. Cristy visits from Georgia! Fat biking. Snow shoeing. Pam visits from Alabama! My attempt to date again.. March. The Publix Half Marathon (marathon #2) with #TEAMNOAH. Visits with my Georgia family...lots of hugs. So much more snow (and stuck cars) April.  Snow. AGAIN. Chase visits from Georgia! Moved into my first, big girl apartment. Meet the Malloys and become fast friends. Sarah and Mike visit from California! First trip to Boston. The best visit with Uncle Paul and Aunt Irena. May. Starting to feel settled into my job. Summer! Hikes...

The first time I came to Colorado was in the Summer of 2010. I have this awesome memory of standing at the base of Maroon Bells in Aspen watching the sunset and being in awe of how stunningly, breathtakingly beautiful this place was. I was this small creature in this vast space and I was in love. Colorado has a way of doing that...making me feel small and almost insignificant in the grand scheme of things. And that's no easy feat since I'm no tiny person! Today marks 3 months since arriving in Colorado. 3 months since I left Georgia, my friends and everything that was comfortable for me to start another chapter in this little book of Helen. It has been exactly what I expected: amazing and scary and lonely and sad and invigorating and liberating and frustrating.  I knew moving here would force me into being alone. At times, that loneliness is crushing. And it hits at the weirdest times. Like, driving in the car cursing the fact that they don't make "slush...

If you know me, you know that the phrase, "I DON'T ADULT WELL!", comes out of my mouth or is sent via text a. lot. So today, when I got a call that I had been approved for an apartment, I did a little jig. And then when it really hit me, I cried tears of joy (shocking, I know). For most of you, this is not a big deal. An apartment? Pfft. Most people have their first apartment in their 20's. My path has been different and tonight, while a little embarrassed, I'm more so just immensely proud. This is the first time in my life where I haven't had to rely on another soul to have a roof over my head. No parents. No roommates. No kick ass, killer deals from friends. No boyfriends. Nope....just Helen (except for Brucey who is contributing $0 to the household, so I'm not counting him for these purposes).  I've done nothing in the last 14 months, but take risks. Scary, life changing risks and so many times I've doubted myself since, "I don't ...

I've been here about 2 and a half weeks and already I feel like I've learned so much. And typically I've learned the hard way.  Because. Helen. Example? Snow tires. On my first free day off from work I got Brucey and myself all ready to go for a hike...there are so many places within a 10 minute drive from where we live and I was SO excited to get out like an adult and go do something active. We didn't make it out of the driveway. Halfway up to be precise. Turns out, my front wheel drive Honda Accord with questionable tread on it's tires to begin with, was incredibly ill-equipped for snow. Halfway. We got halfway. Then we rolled back a little bit to "get more traction" because I was told that's something you do. Terrible idea in hindsight. Good news is I missed the stone wall that lines one side of my driveway by a literal inch (I measured). Bad news is I had to climb out of my passenger side, I cried a lot and poor Bruce had just gone on the most ...

In the spirit of ripping band aids off, jumping into the unknown and proving to myself that I can do things I never thought I could, I have some BIG news. As of January 2017, Brucey and I will be residents of Denver-ish, Colorado.  I say "ish" because I'm still working out those details. A few months ago, I got a random text from a friend who I used to work with telling me that he recommended me to his boss as a potential manager for a shop out there. I took exactly 0% of that text conversation seriously. I also took the next few months of back and forth communication with a grain of salt. The internal thought process went a bit like this (bonus points if you can read it REALLY fast because that's how it would roll through my head): "There's no way I'd move. That's just too much. I can't leave. I know I said I would, but let's get real...I'm a baby. Why in the hell would a bike shop owner want me to help him run his shop? I...

Divorce changes you. It challenges you.  Divorce flips your world upside down and takes from you everything you've grown to know. For me, it was a home and a little family. That little family was 50% furry, four-legged pups whom I miss dearly. Walking away crushed me, but it was for the best for those sweet ones...and I knew that there was some special dog waiting for me. When I finally felt settled into my new place in January, I decided that I needed to find that special one. I didn't look for him. He came to me. He popped up on a Facebook post and that face...oh, that face. I just had to meet him. The picture that started it all. On a cold Tuesday afternoon in January, I drove to Lifeline Animal Rescue where a sweet white and black dog was walked out to me. "HERE HE IS!", I thought. Well, he could have given 2 shits that I was there. Barely acknowledged me.  "He's a little...humpy", the girl said. She explained that she didn'...